Hey, hey, where are you rushing? Wtf dude, my thoughts… There are like ninja stars, coming right at me, so fast…
(Pause)…
I am hurt…Even though I am not really in a condition to say the right words, to make the right face (because I am so cool with everything right now),but I know that much- I am hurt. I also know that I feel sorry for..Us… You know dude, like, when you have spend so much time with someone, and you are bond and stuff, and then you lose it,and... It is normal to be sad.. Like for example, you love your dog, and it loves you back,right? And one day you lose it, and you are sorry, right? But, you are not dog, dude, I am not saying that you are an actual dog, I just wanted to make a point here.. And if I have to choose which animal you look like, you are definitely a raccoon :))) Hey, just kidding…
(Pause)
Wait...I know… (Raising my hand) You are a Chameleon (hihihihihihi)…
(Pause)
So, what now dude? It`s the same shit again..But that’s OK.. You know… When I was a little girl, and saw that I wasn`t always going to walk on roses, I bought myself a big rubber boots, so every time I have to walk over some shit, I`d be protected from the filth… Yeah, that’s right, I`ve been doing some thinking too, and I always think...And I am always aware.And you are fooling yourself Mister, if you think that you are the only one that has the situation under control, when you are drunk..Or high.. I never lose control, I just let you think that you are more powerful than me, because you know, you are a chauvinist… And, ME-FEMALE, to be smarter than YOU-MALE? Or foxier, if you will?Impossible…
It doesn`t matter you know, because now, we are just regular characters, supporting roles, we are not innocent anymore. Every scenario that was written about us is now erased…Everything that was supposed to be an amusing story, now is under construction, with no changes..No one will ever remember our story. Maybe I`ll read it sometimes, but then I`ll realize that, it is pointless to read, because I know it, I was there when it happened (dooh),I have nothing new to learn or understand…
So, here is the scenario… Now, when we`ll see each other, we`ll be so nice, it will be like: Yeah, we are over it , you know, we have respect for each other, it`s not like something happened between us, so now we are acting weird.. Oh,and yeah, we`ll have conversations like this: “Hey dude.."..No, no, wait, without "dude". We are not dudes anymore. So, it would be like :"Hey, what are you up to these days? Did you enroll postgraduate studies?”
And I`ll probably be drunk, and say: “Who cares about the stupid postgraduate studies…Postgraduate studies sucks ass, I don`t want to study anyways”… I just want to run, I want to run, without stopping, I just don`t know if I have a finish line, a goal.. I am afraid to stop… Actually, I`ve stopped for a while, beside you, and look what happened.. I am all fucked up, emotionally challenged, drinking wine, eating chocolates (hmm, not so sure about the chocolate. Maybe I eat the chocolate because my sugar levels in the blood are low right now, because of, you know…hihihihi )…
(Pause)
You`ve tricked me dude… Even though I thought you are the victim in our story…Not my victim, a victim like in your own story, because you are such a drama queen… Ok, think whatever you want, I am not going to prove myself wrong.. I mean right...I mean... I just wanted to see how much time we`ll last… I think eventually, we`ll be OK…A good memory… Or I just think that now, because I am so cool dude… And we won`t correspond, because I`ll be invisible on Skype… You`ll just text me a formal message like: “Hey, how you`ve been? I was wondering if you would like to grab a cup of coffee?” And probably, I`ll be still drunk, from the last time we saw each other, remember, I`ve mentioned it in the text before…And because, you know, my life is still a mess, I`ll probably say: “Oh, who gives a shit about the coffee? Our cafeteria is not there anymore…It is closed...It is just a ruin… And I am there too, sitting, eating a peer, waiting for something…
Why dude? Why did you give up on me so fast? Aren`t you a little bit curious about us? You are just a spoiled kid… You still have that child issue, when you were a little boy, and your parents didn`t want to buy you the pink teddy bear… And I am that teddy bear… And you were crying over me, but two minutes later, you saw another, fluffier teddy bear and you stopped crying… OK,OK, you know what, it`s fine..Really…It`s definitely fine, I can feel it..(I actually think that I can smell it too...Ooops, my mistake, that is probably the yogurt and the coffee from this morning...hihihi... Oh,excuse me Mr.Serious face, have I made this situation uncomfortable?).Anyway, thank you for listening, now I am gonna go, I can`t feel my arm, I`m flying between my words and letters, and you know what? I am giving you my F letter…
(Pause)
Oh crap, I should`ve chosen some other letter...F is mean… And I am a good person…I am not mean… I should`ve chosen C for instance, C… Like Cheese Cake…
Mmmmmm, cake………………………………………………
