Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Family portrait


Circle of trust....Family...Relatives...Friends. The most important ingredients for joyful life. Imaginary circle.. Or, imaginary aura , which suddenly starts to change its shape , and until you are ready , it splashes into hundreds of tiny pieces , and releases all the energy, trapped inside it. And suddenly, you have no fucking idea how you feel about yourself...Or everything around you. You have a tears in your eyes and a smile on your fucking face at the same time...You want to run so fast, but you can not move from that fucking spot, you want everything to just go to hell, but at the same time, you feel glad that this weird feeling is present, thinking, maybe ,this is the real moment and this is the logical consequence that everybody should see and should have in mind. You start to act like an infantile person. You are starting to like the self pity, crying over some stupid ballad and suddenly, you find yourself into a 3D place, which you can not explain to anybody...But it is explainable, actually..So, you are finally trying to explain yourself, and its all going well, until.. You look around , and you see yourself , sitting on an old wooden table, and on the table, a puppet theatre , composed of you, and the rest of the audience, listening to your story. Everything is a version of something else. “The thing” that existed in some kind of fortunate form ,a long time ago, now is just a memory, an old photography (unless, the photography is not just another fake pawn, sacrificed for the queens or kings sake). And, just like that, you will move all the pawns, and the other figures, just to win the game.. Or, maybe, at the worst case, you can shake hands, with the line:” It` s not possible to continue the game” ,still not calling it EVEN.(just for fun)